watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
