i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
