I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
we're so committed to being not committed
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
