I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
