My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
