jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
