well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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