Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
