Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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