Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
