Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
