At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
