I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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