Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
They took my balls.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
