You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
God, I missed his penis.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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