i think my tv is drunk
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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