Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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