I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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