If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
