I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
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I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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