everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
