The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
