Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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