i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Randomize
