I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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