Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
