pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
