Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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