you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
worst night to have a conscience
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
