i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
