i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
