Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
