The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Still dying that you shit outside
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
These tits shall not be calmed
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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