their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
