I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
