I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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