Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It's shark week go big or go home
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
