Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
