I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
