Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
