we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
