stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
