I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
