The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
