Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize