I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
