he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
