Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
