My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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