is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
