There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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