areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
