But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
