The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Ladies don't puke and tell
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
