I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
