I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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