omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
