I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize