i think my tv is drunk
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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