Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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