I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
